Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Everly Faith 11-15-2015

How do I even begin? It's not easy to sum up a day that truly made history in my life as one of the most special and life altering. But I will try, as most of that special day still feels raw in my memory as it just happened only five short weeks ago. And how does that even happen? Five weeks? That is for a separate post I suppose, but for now...the beautiful birth of our Everly Faith.

A day like any other...or so I thought.

Since I had gone one week one day past my due date, it began to feel like everyone was waiting for a pot to boil. I retreated into myself that last week and felt the time drawing nearer, a time I wanted and yet anticipated with both joy and sadness. Carrying a life is the hugest of privileges. It feels like every day holds promise and purpose, and the feeling of love present within your body is an overwhelming feeling. The little kicks are a constant reminder that something bigger than you is at stake and each day is met with joy because of that special little one growing. So I felt this need to cherish it. To love each kick like it could be the last. 

The day I went into labor I must have instinctively known that time was drawing near. I grocery shopped and cleaned house like a mad woman...a mad pregnant woman a week and one day past her due date. I walked through the grocery store with this horrible heaviness and aching that made me want to quit and just lay down on isle 5. It was the most uncomfortable I had been and I guess that is pretty great seeing as it was the last day I'd be pregnant. 

I got home and made my hubby off load groceries and put them away and I just quit. I sat on the couch and fell asleep. Then climbed into bed right after dinner and didn't get back out. At around 10:30pm I rolled over in bed to get comfortable, and felt the familiar gush of my water breaking. I instantly knew it was baby time. But afraid that contractions would begin and baby would arrive before anyone was there to watch my two boys or before I could get to the hospital an hour away, I decided not to move. I calmly asked Justin to call my sister who was supposed to come to our house. She didn't answer. 

I panicked. I said "call my brother Jacob." He was my back up sitter. He also did not answer.

I began to panic, but still hadn't gotten up. I called my mom and informed her of the situation. We were gonna have to wake and load the kids up at 11 O'clock at night and drag them to the hospital. Then she would have to miss the birth to watch them at her house. 

I felt defeated and my labor hadn't even began. 
I started to feel slight contractions but they were not painful and lasting only 20 seconds every 10 to 15 minutes. 

I still was nervous because my labor with Owen was so short and I barely made it to the hospital.

My mom called me back and let me know my other brother, Matthew, could watch the kids. He was about twenty to thirty minutes away, but to my shock got there in fifteen. I never asked how fast he drove!

Heading down the mountain, I could feel my contractions picking up, but still not painful and I was still very conversational. I was nervous so I was shaking like I was freezing. When we reached the bottom of the mountain I felt a huge sigh of relief knowing I would at least make it to the hospital.

Since Justin and I had hardly spoke of her name my whole pregnancy, I mentioned it on the ride there. "We should probably pick her name." 
 "You did I thought."

"Yes, but you never really seemed like it was a go. I really like Everly; I can't seem to top it."

"Okay, Everly it is. What about her middle name?"

"I'd like for you to help me with it. Do you think it should be Dawn, after my mom? Or what about Faith?"

"Hmmm, I like them both. What about Grace?"

"I don't know...it just doesn't feel like the right name."

The whole pregnancy was really hard to choose, or even discuss. We just didn't agree or would get offended at the choices. Naming a person is so hard, and personal. It's for their whole life. Will it fit them? Will we like it later? But I knew who she was...even if he didn't. She felt like Everly.

Once we were checked in at the hospital, they checked me and said I was not dilated or effaced so they would just see how things progressed. Since having Owen naturally, I knew that was the only way I was having her but also with my water being broken knew that some sort of help would be needed to avoid a c-section. They gave me meds to soften my cervix and said it might progress labor....

and it did. 

I went from fine to not fine in just two contractions. 

The intensity had me talking less and focusing more. I focused on breathing and getting to the end of each one, which were about 3-4 minutes apart, then soon after, no breaks in between with just one long contraction that gained in intensity but never fully ended before it repeated. 

They were not taking me seriously because the monitor showed not much going on. The monitor was not fully on me like they thought so every time they checked in on it, they just walked back out, even though I was in full transition. 

My mom grabbed my a trash can and I vomited through contractions. The nurse said she would be back in a few hours.

And came back in twenty minutes later with the doctor once I became a lot more vocal and in some obvious ending stages of labor. He checked me and I was at a five. And just like with Owen I began to push, prematurely, but also involuntarily. 

I knew I was ready to have a baby. 

And to the doctor's surprise dilated to ten in one contraction. They all hurried to ready the table for me to push. This time was just so intense that all I can remember is diving into myself and telling the doctor and anyone else who would listen "it hurts. I'm hurting. I'm hurting!"

I began to lose track of the room and my focus. The pain grew past the point I believe anyone can physically handle and digging my hands into my legs, I began to push. 

A nurse reminded me to breathe and to wait for the doctor. I wanted someone to hold me, to make it stop. I wanted to run away but it was impossible. I knew that I needed to get in control so it could just be over. 

And thank goodness with just two pushes, she was out at 3:48 am (just 5 hours after my water broke) and the pain instantly turned into bliss and relief. She was placed on my chest after the doctor confirmed she was indeed a girl and stayed there til the cord stopped throbbing, and they cut it. Then they slowly took her to check her. 

The rest of it was just pure joy. And peace. There was such a peace in the room. They brought her back to me and she never left again. 

My mom played a HUGE roll in my labor. There were no photos of her because she was the one who captured these beautiful birth photos and when she wasn't she was at my side. I grasped her so many contractions and asked for her to hold me. I had my husband, but her familiarity with birthing and that pain comforted me. She gave me such calming vibes and comforted me. Thank you mom.

And of course my husband...he was SO present for me. 

Justin rubbing deep blue on my back. That stuff was a life saver.
Getting ready for me to have her!
This photo. I wanted to quit here. It was all I could do to just breathe and not sob.
Just two pushes til we would meet her. Two very HARD painful pushes.
The doctor confirmed her as a girl here. My whole pregnancy I was nervous she would not really be a little girl.
Best feeling ever. Ever.

The look on my face sums it up. Relief, joy...love.

She weighed 7lbs 9oz 21" long. Perfect APGAR score.
As gross as this may be for some, I asked for a picture of the "home" of my precious baby for the last nine months. It truly is a miracle.
I love this one of Justin kissing her. He worked for her too.
First latch. It never gets less special with each child. She nursed like a little champ!
Boys meeting her for the first time after a disappointing day, realizing we couldn't leave the hospital because of her jaundice. 
Eli instantly fell in love. He was so shrill with excitement, it was adorable.
Owen was just in pure amazement.
The one picture I knew I wanted. They never mold like this except when they are new...just like in the womb. 

The day after her birth, I asked Justin again...what is her middle name?

And after consulting Eli and Owen, decided on Faith.

It fits her perfectly. Just like I knew it would.

She is beautiful. And perfect. And the missing piece of the puzzle in our family. 

Blessed is an understatement.

Welcome to our the world Everly Faith Correll. I love you.

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